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BLACKCHAT: Bottomin' out in the Top End
Issue 166 - 13 Nov 2008
ISSUE 166, November 13, 2008: Our Top End scribe Graham Ring writes: I was present at Darwin's parliament house recently to see Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition implode. Believe it or not the Country Liberal Party opposition voted against debating a 'matter of public importance' they had sought only the previous day to have considered as a matter of urgency.
Aside from demonstrating staggering tactical incompetence - and contempt for parliament - these wallies also let the Labor government off the hook. Aero medical evacuation services in the NT are in crisis, apparently because there are sometimes wallabies on the runway at Katherine airport!
The humour of the situation is doubtless lost on the many thousands of residents of remote Aboriginal communities for whom an effective medical evacuation service is a life and death issue.
On 19 August this year, Health Minister, Dr Chris Burns, told this town's journal of record - the celebrated NT News - that he had ordered a report into the matter to be 'on his desk in a month'. Now, two months down the track, the examination by independent aviation expert, John Cornish, has still not surfaced. Ammunition aplenty for skilled parliamentary inquisitors, but the CLP opposition couldn't land a punch.
Minister Burns has told Blackchat that Cornish is "currently finalising his investigation and recommendations" and that "the delay is unfortunate, but this is an important issue and we need to get it right."
It is, they do, and NIT will keep you posted.
NOTHING at all 'Indigenous affairs' about this item, but we enjoyed it so much we had to give it a wider audience. At the bottom of a story about the Melbourne Cup on a Sydney news website was the following comment:
"Personally I do not know what all the fuss is about. I do not ride horses. I do not like the smell of them. I do not know anyone who does. I do not know a jockey, a trainer, a strapper, a steward. I have not followed any particular horse. I have used horse poo in my garden. I have ridden them to keep the family happy (family outing). I imagine I use the by-products from them in some way. So, I cannot see what the fuss is about. 20 odd horses running around a track. Some of them imported which opens up the chance of disease for those who use horses for something other than recreation. I do like the people who go to the car park and have a good time. That is a good piece of lateral thinking."
The comment was signed 'Somewhat Perplexed'.
THIS one, however, is Indigenous affairs-related, and it's still on the Melbourne Cup.
Every now and then, if you need a laugh the stormfront.org website is worth checking out. It's a white supremacist site that promotes itself with the tag 'White Pride World Wide'.
There's even a special Australian section, for Aussie rednecks who need somewhere to direct their hatred. And within that forum was this little gem, under the heading, "Melbourne cup. Traditional clothes laughed at! by non-whites". The mistakes (and there's many) are his:
"Melbourne cup is great day (sic) for us Aussies its apart of our culture. The cup. The race , The bets, Women dress up stylish and look very pretty. Men dress up in suits hats. And have a great day out at the big Melbourne race! I didn't go myself, but I was down Victoria heading back up to Queensland that afternoon.
No surprises there - a Queenslander. He continues:
"As I was traveling I jumped off the train to head to my plane. And I noticed a young white Australian girl traveling home after the race. She was dressed up in traditional old style clothes. With a hat hanging to the side of her head.
"To me she looked fine and fitted in very well considering it was Melbourne cup. But as this nice young lady walked, she was looked at, people turned around, people made jokes to them self about her clothing style.
"I was extremely angry. This is a great tradition in our country !! And she is being insulted laughed at for it! I can tell you right now she looked better then all those women around her! Yet she was laughed at.
"Not happy."
Not exactly important either. But it does go some way to explaining why very few people take the site seriously.
HERE'S another reason. A posting, also from the Australian forum part of the site from a member called 'kameraden', who uses the Australian Army logo as his picture (no surprises there either). Kameraden describes himself as a "Proud White nationalist forever". Here's his posting... with a little Black Chat rebuttal:
Here are the entitlements only available to Australian Aborigines.
1) Automatic welfare payments. It is deemed unnecessary for Aborigines to show proof of seeking employment as all other citizens do.
Ah, sorry. Not true. Aboriginal people receiving welfare benefits are required to show the same identification as other people.
2) Free public school education. This includes uniforms, fees, travel to and from, canteen allowances.
Well, yes and no. All Australians have access to free education, but Aboriginal people do not get free uniforms, fees, travel or canteen allowances.
3) Free university education. Don't hold your breath!
Ah, sorry, stop there as well. Nope. They don't.
4) New housing estates provided at rental of 2% of market rate, usually trashed and bulldozed within 12 months.
Ah... right... it's starting to sound you're just making this sh*t up as you go along?
5) The new car scam. An Aborigine buys a new vehicle on hire purchase and makes the first monthly payment. If further payments cannot be met, the debt is wiped, he retains ownership of the vehicle.
Right... ummm... sorry, never heard of that one. But how about this one - it's called the 'white land scam'. A pile of whites steal black land. A white court determines that it was illegal. So the whites change the law. Ring any bells?
6) One-off payments of $5,000 can be given to study ancestry. No proof of doing so is required.
Good lord! Why didn't someone mention this earlier!? Where do we sign up.
7) Employment is offered weekly in all newspapers, with the addendum "Aborigines and Torres Strait Islanders are encouraged to apply".
Wrong again. Employment is offered daily in most newspapers...
KAMERADEN continues: In the last 10 years, $23 billion of taxpayer's money has been spent on projects to benefit the Aborigines. Note, this doesn't include welfare payments.
Note, this does include welfare payments. And here's another figure for you. All Australian's had about $2 trillion of taxpayer's money spent on projects to benefit them over the same period.
And here it is people, wait for it, the final word from Kameraden: "A few other points. The "Stolen" generation is a lie, and a myth. In the 70's when I was in the police force..."
So he's a former copper... it's perhaps the only thing Kameraden wrote which was both accurate and unsurprising. And it might even spawn a new saying. Australian's are famous for beginning sentences with the phrase, 'I'm not racist but..."
In the interests of giving our nation something fresh and new, Black Chat is officially proposing an updated version of the phrase, namely: "I used to be cop, but..."
AND speaking of cops, a little irony from the bravery awards ceremony staged in far north Queensland last week, to honour the work of the 23 police on Palm Island during the 2004 uprising.
The ceremony included several songs from the Queensland Police Service Pipe Band (who even knew they had one?). One of the numbers played was called 'With Honour We Serve', a reference to the noble efforts of Queensland Police.
The final song, which was perhaps more appropriate, was 'Waltzing Matilda', a tune about a thieving vagrant.
BUT back to Stormfront... our favourite forum link was titled, "Experiences With Poisonous Snakes Down Under?"
It was a posting from an American who appears to have a fascination with deadly Australian creatures. Surely, we thought, they couldn't turn this into a white supremacist rant? How wrong we were.
Pastor Bullets - apparently a God-fearing Christian in his spare time - writes: "We have to get rid of all the Genesis 3:15 type serpents."
Which intrigued us. So we looked it up. According to our King James Bible, Genesis 3:15 actually reads: "And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head... "
Which doesn't really make any sense at all, unless you consider that it's a reference to the most dangerous snake of all... the one every daughter's daddy warned them about... the one-eyed trouser snake.
THIS is perhaps one of the funniest posts on the site, although it wasn't intended that way. A 'Mr Smith' writes: "Friend of mine recently had a near death experience because the Indian doctor let him out of the hospital, went back to his heart specialist two days later, still with problems breathing, he was diagnosed with a partially collapsed lounge..."
My God! A partially collapsed lounge?!? Did anyone think to check if he also had a fractured table leg? Or a broken armchair? Or a ruptured living room?
Mr Smith adds: "Makes you wonder where these Indian and Arab doctors got their doctorate? In the back of a cow shed in Delhi somewhere most likely."
Just as we wonder where Mr Smith got his education... in the back of a panel van in Far North Queensland, most likely.
GIVEN the number of complaints on the Stormfront site, it reads a little like an Agony Aunt column... or maybe an Angry Aunt column. Either way, we've decided to devote the rest of Black Chat (and perhaps many more) to helping our white supremacist friends though their collective angst and crises.
SKINSKON writes: "I've been wondering - has anyone ever tried putting a tick in the 'black box' on a government census form just to see how much red carpet rolls out?"
Dear Skinskon. Sorry to disappoint, but census forms are anonymous. We do, however, advocate ticking the 'I loved my sister... long-time' box if you're a Stormfront member... or from Far North Queensland.
WIRTH1488 writes: What p**ses me off about Australia is that everyone is being scared of being (sic) called a racist, I'm not. I openly express my views with anyone who wishes to discuss them.
Dear Wirth1488. I like the fact you have the courage of your convictions... and an anonymous login name.
KROENEN_SS writes: I think its (sic) time to move to another conutry (sic). Unless the government decides to cut off there (sic) payments i (sic) doubt they will even educate them selves (sic).
Dear Kroenen_SS. Your (sic) right, an edumucation (sic) is very impotent (sic). Which other 'conutry' are you planning to move too (sic)?
BROWNEYE asks: What's wrong with this country? On my many visits to a local country town I noticed they were building a new Council chambers . When finished two flag poles were erected out the front. 1- the Australian flag. 2- The Aboriginal flag - WTF?
Dear Browneye. Are you aware that you have named yourself after an anus? Thus, in response to your first question, 'What's wrong with this country?', I'd respectfully submit that you look a little closer to home for some answers.
ARGUING against the UN Declaration of Human Rights, Prometheus writes: You can't end racial conflict, if you allow one race to trample over another, or to invade another space, or to assimilate with another or forcibly coexist with another.
Dear Prometheus. Well said... now will you be paying cash or credit for your fare back to England?
KTSTOMP writes: I keep a baseball bat in my bedroom, a hockey stick at my front door and a knife upon my person wherever I go. I don't feel safe.
Dear Ktstomp. Have you considered keeping an open drum of petrol in your kitchen... and then taking up smoking?
blackchat@nit.com.au
* Blackchat is a fortnightly NIT column. Submissions are always welcome.
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